From The Kenny Casanova Scrap-Book
SHABLECK! Click here to return! There you are…and here I am…”THE PRINCE OF PASSION” KENNY CASANOVA. After researching THE CASANOVA FAMILY TREE, I discovered that back in the 1700’s, my GREAT GREAT GREAT Uncle JACK CASANOVA was in fact…A PRIME MINISTER of a PRIME PROVINCE some where on THE PRIME MERIDIAN.( My father says he was a Prime Minister in England.) Whether you believe that or not, I finally have your undivided attention. Without the lame signs and the rude pagan-like chants, you can finally sample the tasty morsels that comprise my roots, without any distractions.
IN THE BEGINNING…The Duke Of Carlisle
A long time ago, a little kiddie casanova was born to a preacher-man, in a little town called Danville, Pennsylvania. And in a faster amount of time, than a cat can run out of a Chinese-buffet’s kitchen, Casanova showed the waiting world his POTENT POTENTIAL, by entering a neighboring city’s baby-beauty contest , on JUNE 27th, 1972,and winning HANDS DOWN. Being named “THE DUKE OF CARLISLE” may not seem like much to the common-man, but this proved immediately, in the earliest days of THE SMOOTH ONE’s life, that he is,in fact, sexxxxier than 50 movie stars and has continued a lineage of prince-ly ROYAL BLOOD.
Hey Rabbit…Are those easter-eggs pressing against my shoulders?
After womanizing nearly the entire state of Pennsylvania, THE GOLDEN GOVERNOR OF LOVE moved onward to the greener pastures of Haverhill, Massachusetts. At an early age, Kenny realized that he had a very photogenic face, no matter how his parents dressed him.
He also believed that there was always the chance that an experienced Playboy-Bunny could be wearing the rabbit-suit, in the malls around Easter time. And since his parents were paying the money, heck, it was worth the embarrassment, to get a chance to sit on her lap.
Eventually, Kenny started wearing odd sportscoats at his own will. He learned that wearing plad jackets was actually a come-on for must chicks, because when ever one saw him, they would say “COME ON!”
Gumdrops and Cheese-chunks on a stick.It is in Haverhill that Kenny cleverly perfected the craft of cooking, to impress the chicks of the future, creating now classic dishes like Peanut butter milkshakes and Gum-drops and Cheese-chunks on a stick. Here he learned everything that kindergarten-thru-7th grade had to offer, including how to make the grade, in those tougher classes like pottery & basket-weaving, (by winking at the right time —you know the deal). Haverhill was site of Casanova’s first public appearance, starring in a middle school performance of THE WIZARD OF OZ (-as Dorthy’s UNCLE HENRY!) His Haverhill years also MARK his first experience with live wrestling, as he had front row seats for STRONGBOW vs VALENTINE left an inspiration in CASANOVA’s developing mind.
Hulk gave Kenny the shirt off his back!After 10 years in Haverhill, Casanova moved to Fall River, MA. There he spent his next 3 years, in high school head-butting lockers. His biggest wrestling-related claim to fame, at this point in his life, had only been catching a ripped T-shirt, at The Providence Civic Center, that the HULKSTER® had tossed in his general direction.
It wasn’t until 3 years later, when Kenny Casanova moved to Binghamton, NY, that he would be introduced to a side of pro-wrestling, other than watching it on TV -or in the nose-bleed section of a cheesy arena. Yessss… Kenny would get involved…
THE FIRST TIME
In 1988, Kenny Casanova, still a junior -at Vestal High School, was approached by some turd-burglar in home-room, whose mother worked for the M.S. Foundation. The deal was that CAPTAIN LOU ALBANO was running a fund-raising wrestling show to benefit M.S. and that if her son found a few guys to sell tickets, they would get to have dinner with the wrestlers!!! Realizing that you gotta start somewhere, and that M.S. too was a great cause, The Prince of Passion jumped at the chance and actually helped in promoting his first show.
After the show had finished, just as promised, a wide-eyed Casanova was led into a banquet room, where he saw Rocky Johnson, Tony Atlas, Misty Blue, The Wild Samoans, Sgt. Slaughter, a young Samu & Fatu, and Col. DeBeers. He was then seated, next to a grateful CAPT LOU, and they feasted on chicken wings. After Casanova asked “The Capper” about managing, Lou ate the cartilage of a bone and said, “…Son…It’s tough…Just like promoting a show, by plugging it everywhere…as cheap as possible, (gulp)…you gotta promote your wrestlers and promote yourself…but most importantly…you gotta win matches at all costs…and ride your wrestlers coat-tails to the top…Pass the Blue-Cheese…”
CASANOVA :”Uggggggggggggghhh…You eat the chicken-knuckle?!?!”
CAPTAIN LOU: “Of course!!! (swallow)…THAT’S THE BEST PART!”
THE SILENCE BEFORE THE STORM
Kenny Casanova graduated from a suburban High School in The Armpit of America Albany NY. At first he struggled in a series of “Turdburglar” jobs including Dishwasher at Duncan’s Dairy Bar Diner, Cashier at McDonalds (with Ole’ Hotbod Todd Taylor) and Cashier/Cook at a gas-station/convenience store. Incidentally, Hotbod Todd worked with Kenny at the Gas-Station, too. (It seems he has followed Kenny around ever since he met him, copying his every move.) The Gas-Station is where Kenny first met the now world-famous Orvin Bennett, who soon would become his mentor.) Orvin Bennett, Orvin looks like a bearded Mickey Rooney and usually talks gibberish that NO ONE can understand. His unique vocabulary includes such cult favorite words like “Shableck!” and “AINK!” now made popular by Kenny Casanova.
Orvin must have believed that everyone in the world was like “The Borg” from Star Trek, having one collective mind. He figured that if he knew a guy named “Bob” down the street, everyone else must know Bob too. So he would often start conversations by saying “Hey Buddy… How’s Bob doing?” Orvin Bennett also talked of his two girl friends Shirley Brakken and Olive Adink-adink-ado —and it wouldn’t be unusual for him to ask anyone around if they knew how they were feeling. But the greatest contribution Orvin gave to Kenny was the line “How’s yer neck?”… It seems that at one time, Orvin had injured his neck. (Poor soul!) So thinking that everyone’s neck must have been hurt as well, in the collective, Orvin would use this question as a form of greeting. It didn’t matter if he knew you or not, he would immediately treat you like his long lost relative and then inquire about the status of your neck.
ORVIN: “HEY BUDDY!!! …How’s your neck?”
KENNY: “Ah, good I guess…How is yours?”
ORVIN: “IT’S GOOOOOD, IT’S GOOOOOD!!! Thanks fer askin!!”
Another 5 years went by, as The pastor of Disaster shuffled his college courses with his busy schedule of managing a couple of comic-shops, (owned by some guy that called himself “The Well-Hungarian” Vilmos Levay). With all of the most wonderful children that the world could produce, coming into his work place each day, it was at this place of employment, that Casanova decided that he would never have kids. “YOU ARE ALL DIRECT EVIDENCE OF SOCIETY’S MORAL DECLINE!” But it was here that Kenny Casanova hired on Sweet Pete Waters (AKA Harlem, Japan’s own Thornn) as Assistant Manager. He had guts. He had skill. He had creamy rim and chapped lips, but he had the will to be a wrestler. So the two teamed up, making the lamest tag-team of child abusing maniacs that the world has ever know. Above is the North American Hurricane, one of the very first victims of our earliest training regiments. Read his story by clicking HERE.
Then one day, CASANOVA went to a baseball card show, at The Polish Community Center. As he reached into a bin of LJN’s WWF Action Figures, he looked up to see “THE LARGEST ACTION-FIGURE COLLECTOR ON THE PLANET”. Henceforth, only a month or so later, KENNY CASANOVA found himself at a PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING SCHOOL with the collector, who is now wrestler called “DANGER” that longer beats on toys, but rather the real things, and also my hommies SWEET PETE WATERS, HOTBOD TODD, HC LOC, MIKE HARDY, and BIG PAPA CHILL. Alond with trainer TC Reynolds, along with early help from Tom Brandi (known then as Johnny Gunn) we beat each other senseless, then took the nonsense to the road, where you can now find us today.
The rest is wrestling history…
KENNY “KENDRA” CASANOVA: Ladies Champion
Kenny Casanova, the International Karaoke Champion of the World, is a former NBW & former ESW Ladies Champion and an Intergender tag team champion (w/ Marty Vain). But the saga of gold and prom dresses is not over… The wig lives on. Never afraid to mix things up, Kenny, or should we say, KENDRA CASANOVA, is now the new WOHW Ladies Champion.
On May 8th, 2004, at The first ever, Wheel Of Misfortune Match Up, Miss Deville, the then WOHW Ladies Champion, spun a K.M.A. (Kiss My A$$ Match.) Now coming from Marty The Party, current WOHW General Manager, you would think this was bad enough. However, The Master of The Frat Pack had yet another trick up his sleeve. Deville, still getting over the thought of having to wrestle in such a demeaning gimmick-match, soon found out that her opponent was none-other-than The Princess Of Passion, Kendra Casanova.
It was soon obvious to the crowd that Kenny Casanova in drag was just too much for the first ever WOHW Ladies Champion. “Kendra,” looking as dashing as ever in a green silk prom dress, took Deville by surprise with some chain wrestling and a number of submissions that almost had the girl in black crying for her mommy.
Finding himself comfortable in women’s clothing, he seemed to be holding his own for a change against the tough broad Deville. This elevated level of self-confidence is just what The Princess of Passion needed as he was able to apply a figure four leg lock, a sharpshooter and a devastating STF (Spinning Toe-hold Face Lock Submission) that really did some damage.
Despite some rib-shattering clotheslines that knocked Kenny out of his wig and a couple of roundhouse right hands and a drop kick, Kendra finished off Miss Deville with a Sit-Down Lounge Powerbomb pinning combination for the one, two three. And never to let the fans down, that is when “Kendra” finished the match in true K.M.A. style.
As Deville tried to head for higher ground, General Manager Marty The Party Vain stepped in and forced the former champ to fulfill her contractual obligations to Kendra. The flash. The kiss. Miss Deville has never been the same since. Reporters say that she is probably still puking from the finish and has reportedly, as of late, been spending a whole lot of dough on mouthwash.
“THE PRIME RIB OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING” KENNY CASANOVA
Since you are reading this on the web, you must want to know THE BIG NAMES that our hero and inspiration has worked with… These names include such familiarities as: KING KONG BUNDY, NIKOLAI VOLKOFF, IRON MIKE SHARPE, “FLYBOY” ROCCO ROCK, SAL SINCERE, EDGE & CHRISTIAN, DAN SEVERN, NAILZ, RICK MARTEL, THE JACKEL, FATU, THE BROOKLYN BRAWLER STEVE LOMBARDI, AXE of DEMOLITION, BAM BAM BIGELO, VIRGIL, “MR WONDERFUL” PAUL ORNDORFF, PAUL ROMA, SID, TITO SANTANA, GREG VALENTINE, D.O.A CHAINZ BRAIN LEE, JIMMY SUPERFLY SNUKA, (numerous) DOINK THE CLOWNs, THE BUSHWACKERS, GEORGE THE ANIMAL STEEL, JAKE THE SNAKE ROBERTS, SGT SLAUGHTER, MISSY HYATT, MISS PATRICIA, TONY ATLAS, BRUTUS BEEFCAKE, PAT TANAKA, CHRIS CANDITO, SUNNY, BILLY GUNN, THE MOUNTIE,…
Federations include 2 guest ring announcer spots with the WWF, and many appearances with WOHW, TSW, WWA, NEW, NMW, MWA, USA, NCW, NCCW, NAWA, NDW, NGW, EWF, USWF, UWA, UWF, WPW, USWF, USWL, NBW, ESW, EASTERN SHORES, CWF, TOMMY DEE’s, NEW DIMENSION, LIWF, Atlantic States and AWF. There are some other nifty but shifty promotions that I can not think of at the moment.
ALAS, TODAY… “THE READ DEAL MAN OF STEEL WITH SEX APPEAL” KENNY CASANOVA IS STILL OPENING A CAN OF FRED “WHOOP” ASTAIRE IN A WRESTLING ARENA SOMEWHERE NEAR YOU